The hardest piece to overcome not drinking is my use of time. I find myself walking around the house or yard looking for things to do. My list of projects is long and I have plenty to do, but I find myself unable to get started. I would use drinking as a way to motivate myself. I wouldn't allow myself to sit or have a glass of wine until I completed the project for the day. I was rewarding myself with Alcohol. Completed housework= glass of wine, total win win. So I find myself without the reward or incentive. I can see what I need to do, but I feel overwhelmed and unable to see the beginning and work towards an end. Maybe because with house work there is no end. Cleaning the house while kids are home is like trying to swim up stream tethered to a rock. Rewarding myself with Wine was a way to get past the mundane, consistency of housework.
So what do I do going forward. I'm still learning to do everything without alcohol. Practice and understanding are keys to success. I understand my struggles. I've gone back to pining for alcohol for a brief moment. I know it's because of the increased amount of down time I have right now. I'm continually reminding myself to relax and enjoy not being busy. Resist the urge to pile more on my plate that keeps me from doing the things around the house I need to get down. This has always been my go to solution.
Right now my rewards are sitting in the sun guilt free. If I work hard and get things done around the house I will allow myself to sit for a moment and read my book. Guilt free, is there such a thing for a stay at home mom.
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