Ghost of Super Bowl Past

I was laying in bed yesterday thinking about what my day was going to look like. We usually have a Super Bowl party and this year we didn't have one. I wasn't into either team so it didn't make a difference either way. Plus my husband didn't really want to host again this year. I was kinda bummed because I wanted to test out my sober legs. Isn't that silly. I wanted to put myself right smack in the middle of a drinking party to see how I felt.
My self confidence is probably higher than it really is, but I feel really good right now.  I want to get started getting used to being in social settings and being the sober one. I may hate it. I may say I don't want to do these things anymore, but I won't know until I'm out there with people waving drinks past my face. Crazy isn't it. I just don't feel the anxiety any more. I'm resolved to not drink.

As, I was laying in bed an old memory popped into my head. I can't believe I remembered it but as I started to go through the events it was unbelievable what took place that day. My friends would never do that now. AHHH, maturity. What a lovely thing to have.

My memory takes place Super Bowl Sunday 1995 BK. (before kids). My husband and another couple were invited to a party. I remember reaching a point at that time in my life and I needed to quit drinking for a while.  If I'm correct this was the birth of my annual 30 day cleanse. I had decided I wasn't going to drink and I would be the DD for the day. We stopped by the store and everyone made their beer selection and I chose diet coke. The party was crazy and well stocked with snacks and alcohol. I think this was my first attempt at being sober at a party. I was not prepared for the reaction by everyone. I wish I had a $1 for every time someone tried to get me to drink.  I was the large white elephant with leprosy in the room and for some reason everyone thought they needed to get the story of why I wasn't drinking. "Why on earth would someone come to a Super Bowl party and not drink". The Designated Driver program was still a fairly new concept so that reason didn't hold much weight with these people. Due to the experience and my own inability to control my drinking I never went to a party again and not drink. I wasn't scarred by not drinking that day, it just wasn't something I felt I wanted to explain to people again ( a beautiful excuse to tell the devil on my shoulder).

Well, time has moved on.  We have matured and our lives are full of things that make us act more responsible. Now when we go to parties and if  "so-n-so" isn't drinking we only have the brief speculation that maybe they might be Pregnant or maybe they need to get up early for work. We don't ridicule someone for not pounding shots and the proverbial beer bong has disappeared. I would never badger anyone about not drinking (in fact right now they are my hero) and I certainly keep an eye on the drinkers so they leave safe.

I'm glad my life has changed. I still wish I had the  "One to Two drink" cut-off switch that so many people have. But since I don't, I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of being the nondrinker. Sometimes I'm not the only one, there are others.