I thought it would be important to reflect back on the last 30days. Like I said yesterday, I really don't feel the last 30 days were as challenging as the next 30 and beyond.
This last month I was riding the high of not being hung over everyday. I was done. I hated everything about me and wanted to change. I gained weight (I weighed the same as when I walked into the hospital to give birth), I was tired, strung out, depressed, moody and irrational. I just wanted it to be done. So in melodramatic style I started this blog to help me make promises to myself and hold myself accountable.
Jan 1st like some many people across the country, I made the resolution to quick drinking. First week went fine, headaches, little to no sleep, a fight within my mind to change my 4:00 o'clock habit. The second week I was sticking to my running schedule, eating right and starting to feel normal but still fighting the urges. Third week, got sick which I hear is normal for people detoxing, fell off my running schedule which was a huge bummer, Recovered and third week fell sick again having the same result. But I managed to pull out 13miles in a Half Marathon I signed up for in November and I was back on my running schedule.
The biggest take aways are.....
So so so happy to wake every morning feeling great. It is the best feeling. I was driving this morning thinking about how wonderful it is, to get up and be able to plan your day, stick to it, be on the move, get as little or as much done as you want. F*&%ing ROCKS! I ROCK!
My brain is starting to loose it's haze. This was the weirdest thing. I knew the hangovers caused the haziness but lack of quality sleep and residual alcohol really takes it's toll. I can totally function, remember what I tell people, have total recall of events days ago. I'm dreaming like crazy and I wake up with my mind clear and rested.
I can wake up and run.....EVERYDAY. I'm not strategizing my next run and trying to figure out how much I can drink and still be able to run. I'm not worried I might have to bail out on a run if I can't cut myself off the night before. I get up, throw on my gear and run. Come home to coffee and a feeling of accomplishment.
I'm loving myself again. I'm not telling myself bullshit and making things bigger than they really are. I'm able to handle the stress which is my life with two kids, a full time volunteer gig, and a husband who deserves more than my judgement and sarcasm. I'm showing myself and body respect by eating healthier, getting the proper sleep it deserves and pushing it to exhaustion but in a positive healthy way through running.
First month was about feeling good, getting comfortable with being uncomfortable and staying focused.
I think I did a pretty great job!
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