Let's get together for a glass of wine.....

Last night I received a call from a friend I haven't heard from in a while, but enjoy talking to. We hang out occasionally, usually in the driveway with a glass of wine enjoying the sunshine. She has had some real crazy stuff happen again this year for the holidays. It sucks, this is the 2nd year in a row that they have had to completely change their plans to help someone else. They don't mind because they are good people. But for the same reason it would be nice for them to enjoy the Holidays at home.
Anyway, we were talking and like most every conversations it ends with an invitation to come have a glass of wine sometime. I don't have to worry about that invite just yet and quite honestly it won't happen until probably our first snow storm or a nice warm sunny day. More than anything it just makes me sad. It reminds me that I am the one with the problem and I have to change. Why does drinking mean so much. If it's bad for me why do I continue to do it. I think it's not really saying goodbye to drinking, it's saying goodbye to a huge social piece of my life. I enjoy the conversations, and it seems people are so busy but if you say "hey come have a drink" they make the time to hang out. Then theres the... I can't quit without causing suspicion. The last time I didn't have a drink at a party or when offered I was pregnant. AND everyone new I was because why else wouldn't I drink. So back to figuring out what to say. The first month will be easy. I usually always try and do a cleansing month in Jan. My feeble attempt to show myself that I could stop if I really wanted too. I have my training to fall back on. I will be working hard to get back into shape, loose some weight, and get ready for the runs I have planned this year. I really don't want to be the Leper or make myself open to discussion about what I'm going through. So it's important that I work through this so don't feel like I have to dump my whiny alcoholic self on someone.

So much thought into a simple statement "Let's get together for a glass of wine"