I haven't been writing very much this week. There has been a lot going on and finding time hasn't been the easiest. Time is still ticking, counting down the days. My thoughts have switched to more sadness. I have even started to think I have taken this too far. Why can't I drink, nobody is telling me to stop. I continue to think about everyone else drinking. In my book Mark Truschell talks about how at first you are going to have a lot of feelings like this. My resolve was so pure a few weeks ago but I'm starting to loose ground. I found myself thinking of all the events that will be coming up this next year and I won't be able to drink.
Deep down in my gut I know I want this to happen. Sitting here typing this shows me that I need my life to change. Alcohol is too big a part of my life.
Things I'm looking forward to.....
Waking up feeling good
Being able to work out every day
My thoughts are clear my memory stronger
Better follow through
Able to manage more tasks again.
Getting my life more organized.
See I feel better already.
I hope you don't mind me writing many comments on your blogs, but I find it interesting and really reminds me of myself 2 years ago, Mark is right. You will have feelings in the begining of what you will do while every else is drinking. I felt the same way and I am sure Mark felt the same as well and it is perfectly normal to feel that way. After all alcohol was a big part of all of us that abused it. My first party I went to was for the Christmas Holidays and all I brought with me was 2 dunkin donuts coffes and continued to heat them up through the night. I never let go ofthat cup of coffee all night. I needed to have something in my hand I guess to replace the feeling of having a can of beer, but whatever the case it worked for me and I still take my coffee and bottle water where ever I go that alcohol is being served. I really find it interesting to now watch those that are drinking their brains out and watch just how they change as each drinkgoes down. Don't give in Michelle. It won't be easy, but nothing in life that is good for us is a easy task. Take one day at time and don't so far in the future. It will all work out as each day passe and you have one more day sober under your belt.
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