Monday

Had a great weekend. Ran 5 miles Saturday which was a lot harder than it should have been. Mainly because I haven't been staying on any sort of training schedule. Other than that I found myself again analyzing over and over the not drinking piece. It seems silly some days because I know I don't want to drink anymore but then I tell myself I have set a date and stick with it. Instead of just being done already and saying no more.
So my thoughts focused on what to do with my time and the dreaded 2:00p hour. Both start to signal me it's time to drink. During the week is much easier for me. I'm busy have places to go, projects, and then by the time the kids get home I need to start our nightly routine.I can't drink all day even if I wanted to. The weekends propose a whole other set of challenges. I'm not good being idle. All morning yesterday I kept wondering around the house trying to find things to do. The only problem with this is my husband gets really uptight when I start projects and make a mess. I'm not saying that because He gets uptight I can't do projects therefore I have no other choice but to drink. That is NOT what I'm saying. However I do enable myself quite a bit because the alcohol lets me sit or have an attitude so I don't care if I'm bugging the shit out of him.
 I'm already starting to have negative thoughts around this piece. So I need to figure out what I'm going to do on the weekends. I typically run on Saturdays and then I'm motivated to do something the rest of the day. Sunday I will need to find an outlet. I was going to ask my friend to see if she would like to start walking every Sunday morning. Just so again I can start my day in a positive motion. I will just have to keep thinking about it and come up with alternatives.