Day 5 The Devil and Angel

So I had to give in last night and take a Tylenol PM. I needed to get some sleep. I was still really restless but when I did wake up, I was able to fall back asleep quickly. The no sleep thing takes a toll on me. Cravings are a little harsh today. I get these twinges that surge through my body. I was sitting at lunch talking with a friend and all of a sudden I got this overwhelming urge to drink and started picturing myself pouring a glass of wine. Thinking about what would really happen if I had just a few glasses when I got home. I have to run tomorrow so I would drink that much..... It lingered for a moment then I shoved it back to the far reaches of my mind.  It's hard to get the thought out of my head I CAN NEVER DRINK AGAIN. I feel like I have a Devil on one shoulder and an Angel on the other. The Devil tells me just get through this phase and then you can try drinking again, this is only temporary, someday you will be retired on the beach with a drink in your hand. The Angel on the other hand is sad and pathetic trying to argue with the Devil saying you are done, there is no drinking in the future, you will have to stick to this path to be truly happy. I'm waiting for my Angel to get stronger. I know it will happen. The Devil will always be there. Everything I've read has told me he will forever sit on your shoulder.

Right now the Devil on my shoulder looks like this......

My Angel not as strong.........

Someday my Angel will look like this!

 Until that day I have to keep pushing the thoughts away and stick to my plan.