Thoughts for today

Woke up this morning and ran 3 miles and did a few strength training moves. So far this week I have been sticking to my exercise schedule and feeling pretty good. It's Friday and as Fridays go, I have been really busy so I haven't had much time to think about what I usually do on Friday nights... drink. Instead I have been thinking about all the things I'm going to get done this weekend because I'm not drinking. I did get a little twinge around 12:00. It's a weird urge hard to explain, but I think it stems more from the habit of drinking then the actual Alcohol. Still really tired. I gave in and took a nap. I'm sure my sleep pattern will improve as time goes on. Tonight I might take a hot bath to see if that will relax me.
I had a great lunch with a friend yesterday. We were taking about the last six months and how I have seemed to be in a real funk. She wanted to ask what was going on but wants sure if she should. We spent lunch talking about our New Years resolutions and what needed to change in our lives. Her and I are very similar in the way we think. We share the same Birthday right down to the same day just 7 years apart. We were both born on Mother's Day. I have been working with her on school projects for about 3 years now and our friendship blossomed from that work. We work together so well it's like we know what each other is going to do before we do it. So when I say she understands what I feel she really does. I didn't think two people with the same personality could get along as well as we do. Our conversation starting steering towards how unhappy I've been the last 6 months and the changes I'm making to myself to get better. She asked me directly what I thought might be affecting me. I hesitated for a moment and a rush of wanting to dump all my drinking woes upon her swept over me like a tidal wave. I took a deep breath and decided to continue to keep my secret. I said "I know what the problem is and I'm working through it. I'm really not ready to talk about it" She said she was there for me and when I  was ready she would be there to listen. Had I told her, she would never judge me and think ill of me. It goes back to the  many times in the past I have told people I have a problem. For years I have openly told my 2 closest friends "I'm an alcoholic". I would say  "How could I not be. If you have to lie to your doctor when getting a physical then you are for all intent and purposes and Alcoholic." They would laugh with me and  agree saying they needed to quit as well. Well now here I am quitting....with their help of course.

This was a great week. I woke up every morning without a hangover. I made some amazing Jambalaya. Completed all my work outs...well I still have an 8 miler tomorrow. Which I'm running alone and looking forward too. Running gives me a chance to reflect and think. I will have 80 minutes to think about what my life will look like going forward.