Diversity of Alcoholism

I was talking with my friend yesterday and we stumbled on the subject “Types” of Alcoholics. At first she thought she might have offended me, suggesting there is a “type” of alcoholic. I assured her she had not and this has been one of the biggest obstacles I have had to overcome.

The Diversity of Alcoholism.

There are as many types of alcoholism as there are people who are struggling with it. Each one of us has a different story, a different reason for drinking, and a different playing field. One reason why I struggled for so long, was comparing me to what I thought an alcoholic was. I wasn’t looking at myself as an alcoholic because, I was still able to get up in the morning, complete projects, run a marathon, take care of my kids, and all my friends were drinking right along with me. In my mind an alcoholic was someone who couldn’t keep it together, they sat on park benches clinching tightly to a paper wrapped bottle. They had drama, chain smoked, still dressed in the 70’s, slept all day. The stereo types went on and on in my head. Even when I saw my mother going down the dark path and witnessed firsthand what alcohol can do. I rejected that I could ever be that person. I just thought she was weak and I would never let myself get to that point. How could I, I have always lived by a strict rule of “learn from others mistakes and do not repeat them” My own ego and arrogance let me continue to live in a world of denial. I could and would be the master alcohol, everyone else around me didn’t seem to have a problem with alcohol. So I spent countless days and years coming up with strategies to keep myself under control. If I ran more I can’t drink as often. I will only buy one bottle of wine because I know I can still function the next day, I can only drink on the weekends….it didn’t matter though. It only took one drink, one excuse, one reason to get me started again, and again, and again. I could write a play book titled “101 ways to balance life with alcohol”. But eventually I abandoned my coveted strategies and let my urges and wants take over, leading me down the proverbial path of total and complete alcoholism.

I am learning quite clearly that diversity is what makes us all unique and interesting even in alcoholism. Understanding just because I’m not “that” person drinking at 8:00am, going to a bar where everyone knows my name, or getting DUI’s doesn’t mean I don’t have a real problem.  I didn't need to do any of those things or be any of those people to be an alcoholic, I was doing it already being me.

Embracing my diversity as an alcoholic is now helping me continue to want to stay sober. I know what "type" of alcoholic I am.  Reading and finding people with stories like mine, are helping me stay focused and preparing me for my Sober life. Thankfully seeing the diversity of alcoholism has helped me break through the stereo types and finally acknowledged who"I" am.